Cyborg

A "cyborg" is a human/machine hybrid. They are the stuff of science fiction novels.

 

They also exist. There are a lot of people walking around these days with machine parts: from artificial hips and knees, to cardiac pacemakers and other indwelling medical devices.

 

I've just joined the club. Due to an inherited medical problem the men in my family start to lose their hearing in their 40s. The smart guys go to a trustworthy Audiologist and get fitted for a pair of high-end digital hearing aids (which cost way more than you might believe) and then learn how to use them. I've written about this before.

 

Well, I'm now sporting the latest, greatest hearing technology. The new hearing aids I've got on actually insert the electronics up into my skull. I'm no longer have an earplug with a tube going to a hearing aid. Instead, there is this little wire that runs into my ear and up to my eardrum. Digital hearing aids have always been "little computers." They intercept the incoming sound, convert it to data, and then output the sound adjusted for my audiogram. They can make some sounds louder, or they can shift a sound that is in a range I can't hear into one that I can.

 

My new hearing aids actually set up a local-area computer network between them. They exchange information about the soundscape I'm in, and reprogram themselves using artificial intelligence to help me. The result is amazing and I'm hearing better than I have since I was 35.

 

But wait...there's more! There is a third computer, about the size of an iPod Nano, that I can wear on a lanyard around my neck. This computer joins the local area network created by the hearing aids and it uses Bluetooth signals to connect me to every piece of electronics in my world. I no longer need a cell phone headset. Nor do I need headphones to listen to my digital multimedia workstation. In fact, at night I can watch television with the volume turned off. Ditto for my iPod. The electronic devices now send their signals directly to me wirelessly. I just hear the sound in my head.

 

So, I'm now a cyborg. Friends who are science fiction fans are having fun debating what sort of cyborg I've become. Current suggestions are: a Borg, a Cylon, a Dalek or a Cyberman. I'm opting for the Borg. Telling people that they will "be assimilated" is way more pastoral and loving than screaming "exterminate" at them by like Daleks do in the Dr. Who science fiction series from the United Kingdom.

 

If you didn't get the joke in the above paragraph, that's okay. It just means you're not a heavy science fiction fan. That's fine. I'm sure you are a good person anyway.