Christmas Curmudgeon

I hate the commercialism of Christmas. One year I sent out cards wishing everyone a "Merry Peak Judeo-Christian Retail Season," to indicate how out-of-whack I thought things had become. 

 

Probably the reason is that I come from a family (on my mother's side) that has truly demented holiday customs around gift-giving. 

 

When I was growing up, it was all about the gifts. People kept ledgers in which they recorded the gifts given to them and to the other members of the family. For the weeks after Christmas the children were not permitted to play with their presents. Instead, the gifts remained inshrined under the tree in pristine condition so that the members of the family could visit each other. At such times the children were asked to "show your gifts," and you would display what you had received so that others could judge the value.

 

It was possible to track the rise and fall of your status in the family system by charting the value of the gifts you had received. Sort of a Yuletide Report Card of your perceived worth in the family.

 

It was truly horrible, injurious to the psychology of the children and manifestly unfair to the single-parent households.

 

As I grew to adulthood I decided the best thing I could do would be to reject the whole thing and create new holiday customs that reflected my values. 

 

When Lindsay and I married we agreed to "unplug the Christmas machine." We have a Christmas tree, but it's a little wall-hanging thing the cats can't get at. Most of our holiday celebration goes on around the Advent Wreath on our table. We give a few gifts, but they are low-key things from the bookstore or gourmet store. This year we sent out eCards. 

 

For us, Christmas is about spirituality, church, prayer, beautiful music and a recognition of the holy within our everyday life. I make special meals that I prepare only once a year at this season; we give a lot of charity.

 

Charles Dickens was a member of my denomination, and his Christmas Carol story captures the spirit of the season for us. In fact, one of our rituals is to watch all three of the popular Christmas Carol movies on DVD. On Christmas Eve we get home from church, open some Champagne and turn on the lights and music. We let the lights on the tree burn all night, as a way of reminding ourselves that in this season something special has come into the world.

 

Blessed Christmas everyone.