The Tyranny of the Urgent

The “Urgent” tasks are those other people want you to do. The “Important” tasks are those you need to do in order to be happy.

However, unless you are careful you can spend all your time doing the urgent and never get around to doing anything important. This is the “Tyranny of the Urgent.”

In order to make time for the important things in your life you have to say “no” to some of the urgent things. That’s hard. Other people do not like hearing your “no.”

There is a trap. It takes more energy to say “no” than to say “yes.” If you say “no” to someone they stand there and argue. If you say “yes” they go away, at least for a while. The more overwhelmed you are, the more the temptation is to say “yes,” because that makes getting through the immediate situation easier. But there is a price. You become over-extended and de-energized. If that goes on long enough, you’ll become sick.

That’s why my core belief is to live life focused on what is important.

Yet people are surprised at how much I get done. The last time I gave my personal physician a list of my professional and personal activities he remarked that we wanted to test my thyroid hormone level to see if it was above normal.

It wasn’t, but I do understand why he worried. I run a large and busy hypnosis practice and I run it as a ministry. The only service I’m paid for is when I consult private clients from my home office. I see a lot of them; about 30 a week, often in back-to-back one hour sessions.

Additionally, I do a lot of things I’m not paid for. I run three (soon four) free clinics in an arc around Chicago where I work with up to 75 cancer patients each month without charging them. I do a weekly research clinic for the hypnotic treatment of cancer at La Grange Memorial Hospital. I offer a wide range of programs and services to the community in the form of free classes and public education events each year. In addition, I am an officer of the National Guild of Hypnotists where I sit on its Advisory Board and carry the Governmental Concerns Portfolio.

In my free time I enjoy my long-term marriage. I have an active spiritual life. I’m a martial artist holding multiple black belts. As an ex-chef, I pursue a hobby of gourmet cooking.

There is no mystery about how I manage. I stay focused. If it’s important to me there is time and space for it in my life. I keep nothing in my life that isn’t important.

Years ago as I struggled with a medical crisis I realized my life had become cluttered and unfocused. The maintenance on my stuff was taking up a lot of my time, and people were after me to do a lot of things that were urgent to them but not important to me.

So I ditched it.

I gave away a lot (my church rummage sale got a load of fine silver tableware that year). There were some relationships I decided were complete. Not that they were bad, or mistakes or wrong; but that they were over. I changed careers.

With the energy I recovered I formulated lifestyle practices to support focus.

First, I had to deal with my home. I’m married to a woman with a physical disability, and that means I do the housework. I purchased a modest building and modernized it so that it cleans easily. I found and learned the Flylady System (www.flylady.com) so that the housework is almost effortless.

Second, I needed to earn a reasonable living with enough left over to fund the work that I do for free. I created a high-tech, low-overhead professional practice. I use technology instead of staff which allows me to be efficient and hold down costs. With costs controlled I don’t need to pinch every penny and can do free work for the public good. Check out Ideal Micropractices (www.idealmicropractice.com) to learn how it’s done.

Third, I needed to get a grip on my time. I learned the “Getting Things Done” System of consultant David Allen (www.davidco.com), and implemented his ideas. Later I got more help from one of his students (www.zenhabits.net). This allowed me to have time for other things I wanted.

I wanted a good marriage, so I set my schedule to allow Lindsay and me to take a day off together each week for serious non-task-oriented relationship time.

I meet with a Spiritual Director each month to discuss my spiritual life and help me stay honest. I built a meditation area in my home so I have a good place to practice and pray.

I realized my martial art was critical to maintaining my health so I built a dojo in my basement where I can work out efficiently.

A pure and wholesome diet is a joy and a health need for me. So I equipped my kitchen with professional tools that are a delight to use, and I read cook books the way others read novels.

While none of us can ever escape the urgent completely, we can focus on the important so that when our time comes to leave this life we will not have forgotten to do what we came here for.

Comments

[Robert Chenoweth]

This is the fourth time I've read your post, "The Tyranny of the Urgent." I just left a very tense and difficult work situation where every time my supervisor spoke to me, it was always about something URGENT. For 18 months, I didn't do anything IMPORTANT professionally, and very little personally. I was too exhausted from always chasing the urgent.

I keep reading this post because it shows me there is another way -- a richer, healthier way -- to live life. I've never lived life on my own terms, so I'm envious of what you did, hopeful that I can do it in some fashion for myself, and fearful that I cannot.

[C. Scot Giles]

Hi Robert,

Of course you can do it. No one is stopping you except yourself. You will be amazed at how easy it is to set limits with employers and others if you will only decide to do it.

9 times out of 10, they back right down.

If they don't, then it's time to look for other opportunities. I'm glad I did.

One thing I can guarantee; if you do not reach for your dream you will not achieve it.

-Scot